A Cultured Pearl

The Homesick Blues

Posted on August 27th, 2015

Five years ago this month, I left for college. I had a very classic move-in experience– my school was only five hours away from my house, so we stuffed my mom’s minivan full of the “essentials” (I wore my velcro bath wrap about zero times) and headed south. I was so excited about the roommate I had matched with on Facebook, and we had gotten lucky with an incredible room assignment. Conditions were perfect.

(This is our puppy Gracie the day I left for school. She was pretty sure she was coming, too.)

I did have one nagging worry in the back of my mind, though: I was worried about being homesick. I am very close with my family, and I really loved the area where I grew up. Would I miss that while I was away?

Yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

In fact, as I’ve moved from Nashville to Philadelphia to New York to Seattle, I have been homesick for five years. I miss walks with my mama, and I miss dragging my little brother for ice cream even when he claims he’s full, and I miss running around the golf course in the morning. But I’ve had a whole lot of time to think about this homesickness, and at this point, I’m very much at peace with it. It’s a part of every day, but it by no means runs my life.

If I’m honest with myself, I have to acknowledge the life for which I’m “homesick” doesn’t even really exist anymore. Even if I did live in St. Louis, I would have a job and wouldn’t be lounging at the pool in the summer. I wouldn’t be getting lunch with my same best girlfriends because very few of them even live in St. Louis anymore. And I certainly wouldn’t be having dinner every night with my family because my older brother is at college and my dad works in New York! The professional and social advantages of living elsewhere are a million times worth these essentially nonexistent tradeoffs.

So whether you’re starting college or moving to a new city or just living life, don’t panic about homesickness. A little nostalgia won’t kill you. I even try to embrace it! How lucky am I to have had a childhood and a family that I miss so much? And it’s even more amazing that I have opportunities in my life that currently outweigh that little pang in the pit of my stomach, and make all this missing worth it.