Knowing Your Needs

Posted on April 3rd, 2016

Like many people, I love being needed but do not enjoy being needy.  If you need a friend to step up and be your partner, I’m your girl.  But I know how busy everyone is, and we all have our own problems to worry about, and I don’t enjoy saying “hello, I am feeling vulnerable, please give me more attention.”

Last week, I did exactly that.

Some backstory: Last summer, I moved 3,000 to a brand new city knowing pretty much just my (now) fiancé.  I have heard people say it takes three years to really make a new place feel like home, and I believe it.  We’re working hard to close the gap and make good progress (loved this piece written by my adventurous sorority sister, Hannah), but it can be slow going.

This is a moment in my life I want to share with those closest to me.  As I prepare for a once-in-a-lifetime wedding to celebrate my marriage to Ian, I want to be looking at Pinterest while sipping wine with my girlfriends, browsing Little White Dresses with my mom, and looking at invitations with my grandmother.  But they live thousands of miles away!  It seems trivial, but I’ll never get this time again.

This past week, I panicked.  We’re inside the 150 day mark until the wedding, and I have just felt much more alone in the process than I might wish.  I articulated my feelings and emailed by bridesmaids something to that effect.  I was very uncomfortable when I hit that send button, but their sweet responses have bolstered and reinvigorated me.  (Thank goodness for technology!) Just being able to talk about it has made me feel more connected, and I have realized what I can do to quell a similar situation in the coming months.

Spring is a time for starting anew.  Armed with a self-aware new outlook, I’m ready to advocate for myself and do just that.