Wedding Wednesday: First Looks

Posted on July 21st, 2016

Before I dove into wedding planning, the biggest decisions in the process felt like they were centered around logistics: are you having a destination wedding, where will you hold the reception, who will perform the ceremony, etc.  But as I’ve gotten closer and closer to the big day, I’ve become acutely aware that the most meaningful decisions are actually around the moments you choose to create.  Will you ask a close friend to sing at your ceremony, who will give toasts at the reception, will your guests be surprised and delighted to see a fourth meal brought out when they are glistening on a sweaty dance floor… and will you share an intimate moment with your groom before the ceremony, or will you first lay eyes on one another when you’re standing at the top of the aisle, looking down at your beloved at the altar.

This was not an easy decision for us.  I had always envisioned we would opt for the more traditional route, as my parents and grandparents had done before us, but when I told my wedding planner, she presented the tradeoff: an awkwardly long cocktail hour for the guests, all of which we would miss while we took pictures.

Then I thought a little bit about the tradition, which dates back to the time of arranged marriages.  When a marriage was more of a transaction than a romance, a groom didn’t see his bride until the moment before (or sometimes after) they were married.  This was to keep the groom from changing his mind and bolting if he didn’t like what he saw!  Veils are rooted in the same practice, which is why I will not be wearing a blusher.  As much as I would have loved the feeling of seeing Ian from a distance moments before “I Do,” I realized any need I felt to adhere to that tradition was unfounded, and possibly even sexist.

So a First Look it is!  One upside?  Pictures like these!

one // two // three // four // five 

six // seven // eight // nine // ten

That last one is how I envision ours will go– I’ll be a weepy mess, and Ian will be laughing at me.

I’m still a little skeptical, so I’ll definitely report back with feelings on this after the fact.  On the other hand, the idea of a first look is growing on me to an extent.  I am completely aware of just how beautiful and fun but crazy and chaotic our wedding day will be, and the idea of sharing a special moment just with Ian to breathe and be present with one another sounds perfect.

But I still expect tears from the groom when I walk down the aisle.  Ian’s Best Man is bringing pepper spray just in case he needs to trigger them.  You can’t be too careful.