An Event Planner’s Pregame
Posted on September 14th, 2015
There’s a place in the world for casual parties. You create a Facebook event, invite 500 friends, and cram as many girls in body con dresses and guys in gingham shirts into your apartment as possible between the hours of 10pm and 2am. Ambiance is created through the Hip Hop Monsters Spotify playlist and 80% of the lights off; the menu consists of beer, vodka, mixers, and a few bags of Tostitos Scoops.
We’ve all been there. But I don’t necessarily want to go back.
I discovered my junior year of college that what I really love is long wine-fueled evenings with my friends. In Philadelphia, this often meant dinner at an Italian BYO restaurant downtown, but sometimes it meant dinner parties thrown together in my dorm room kitchen. I served a lot of chili, homemade applesauce, and cookies. Simple, but well-received. Spoils from a low-key dorm room Super Bowl party pictured below:
Since then, I’ve refined my hostessing craft, but I recognize that the decision to host a gathering takes a lot of effort. I’m sure you can use Pinterest or your preferred social platform for inspiration on the event itself, and I’m not so unusually creative that I would be qualified to give you much in the way of design instruction. Where I flourish is in getting you from that moment where you decide to have a party to the minute the guests are walking through the door. I’m going to assume you’re not looking to throw a black tie gala, so for purposes of this post we’ll use the event I hosted over the weekend– a brunch to kickoff football season– as an illustrative example.
Step One: the Google Doc
My job is literally data and information. If I could distill my life into a spreadsheet, I probably would. BUT I promise this is actually a good tactic for party planning, too. You’ll need three tabs:
- Guest list, with status of who has been invited and what their RSVP is
- Food and drink plan– links to recipes, a grocery list, etc.
- Timeline– more on this below, but it’s where you’ll track exactly when you need to do every single task that will get your party off the ground
Step Two: the Invitation
To set the tone, send your guests actual invitations of some kind. Despite my intense love of snail mail, I tend to stick with email for these kinds of events– I don’t want my guests to think we’re being too formal. Paperless Post offers a huge array of designs, including special collections from some of my favorite brands (J. Crew, Kate Spade, Sugar Paper, Serena and Lily… even Disney!). The interface is incredibly easy to navigate, so you can customize a few options before settling on a winner. We opted for this for our football party:
Just sub in “Helen & Ian” for “Tami & Eric,” and “Seattle” for “Dillon,” and you get the idea. Screenshot your creation, insert it into an email, BCC your guests, and you’re set!
Step Three: the Menu
There are few things to keep in mind, but if your goal is stress-free success, one factor reigns supreme: plan a menu with as many things you can prepare ahead of time as possible. Casseroles you can prepare the night before and pop in the oven an hour before guests arrive, low-maintenance soups or meatballs that can sit on the stove, icebox cakes that only taste more delicious as you let them sit in the fridge… These are my power alley.
This is also not the time to make a fussy favorite, or to try that new chicken recipe from Southern Living. Stick to what you know. Not only will you know how to prepare it and how long it takes, but you’ll know your guests will be getting something that tastes good, too! I make food I want to eat, but not just for selfish reasons. I enjoy balanced meals– a balance of indulgence and health, and a variety of dishes and food groups. Give the people options! You’ll need to plan your oven space carefully– we’re really lucky that we have two ovens in our apartment now, but I’ve planned many meals with the criteria of “must cook at 375 degrees” 
Pretty food with bright colors a plus!
Step Four: the Schedule
About a week before the party, it’s time to set your schedule. Give yourself plenty of time, and don’t leave it all until the day of. When I’m setting my schedule, I usually forget to get one thing ready: me! I’ve tried to get better about this, but there have been quite a few times when my guests have showed up to a perfectly tidy apartment with the food just cooling on the stove yet I’m standing in the kitchen sweating in my work clothes with crazy hair. Minus a few revisions, my schedule for this week looked like this:
I write it all out, and check things off as I go. Never fails! And if it did, I would have built in plenty of cushion time to fix it
One more quick note on getting yourself ready: wear something loose, comfortable, and breathable. Party guests look perfect in white jeans and silk tops… hostesses do better with cotton shifts.
Step Five: the Day Before
Cleaning. Supplies. Flowers are a complete must-have, and we’re lucky that we live near a famous market here in Seattle– I stopped by to pick up a group of dahlias on Saturday afternoon that looked beautiful scattered around the apartment.
Want to get your flowers to last longer? Add a splash of vodka and a dash of sugar to your water! Replace the water mixture and trim the stems often.
Step Six: In the Moment Management
The food is ready. Your playlist is queued up. The guests will be there any minute! Light some candles for a finishing touch that will make your guests feel welcome the second they come through the door. Obviously, don’t introduce competing smells, but I usually have one scented one going in the living room, tapers on the dining room table, and a scented one going in the bathroom to, you know… mellow it out in there?
During the party you’ll have your hands full, but there are two things that you really don’t want to let slip through the cracks. Nothing feels so inhospitable as a cold house, but you don’t want your guests to wonder if they’re attending a hot yoga class. Remind yourself to check up on the room’s temperature from time to time. Your second periodic touchpoint should be the powder room… for obvious reasons!
—-
If this sounds like a lot of work to you, that’s 100% okay. Organize a group to meet for dinner and drinks, and save yourself the headache (and money!). But if the idea of people creating warm memories in your home is appealing to you, go for it! A little upfront planning and attention to logistics goes a long way.
And if all else fails… Wine.
Feeling Fancy
Posted on September 10th, 2015
There’s nothing wrong with calm and routine. My life, particularly during the week, is pretty uneventful. I wake up at the same time, run the same number of miles, drink the same latte for breakfast, work the same hours, eat one of the same three things for lunch… you get the picture. Mostly, I value predictability– I worry about enough irrational things without the stress of actual concerns. But at the same time, this kind of lifestyle runs the risk of dragging you down into the depths of the mundane.
A lot of people combat this kind of mundane with a Treat Yo’self attitude. A Monday afternoon cupcake, margs & tacos with girlfriends on Tuesdays, new shoes on a Thursday lunch break… These things are awesome and do make you feel fancy, but at a fairly substantial cost to your wallet or your waistline or both. Great every once in a while, but probably not wise for the daily pick me up.
Still, don’t settle for boredom! Get your everyday glam on through these seven very important tactics:
- Come home to tidy. Let’s get the most boring thing out of the way first. Cleaning is like the anti-fancy, but when you come home from the office and you can feel proud of your apartment, you’ll have your own little slice of heaven in which to unleash your fanciness for the rest of the evening. I often have fresh flowers at home, too. Nothing makes me feel like I have my life together quite like a vase of blooms.
- Drink coffee. It’s a little comical that I’m writing this. When I moved to Seattle three months ago, I had had coffee six times in my life. Really. So I moved to Seattle, one of the world’s great coffee cities and got to Starbucks Gold Level in approximately 35 days… and now I drink a latte every single morning. I know I lumped my latte in with the mundane above, but even though it’s part of my routine, it’s one of the loveliest parts of my day, too. It turns out coffee has caffeine!!!! And caffeine is a stimulant that makes me feel fancy.
- Don’t wear clothes that make you feel like garbage. More on this another time… but I am sure you will feel the opposite of fancy if you’re wearing that one sweater that’s kind of itchy, or that one pair of pants that gaps weirdly in the back. I’m not saying dress to the nines every day– but don’t set yourself up for failure!
- Subscribe to magazines. This is like a mini version of treating yourself. Magazine subscriptions are super cheap; I think last year I even found some online survey to take so I got three for free. I particularly like that I never know exactly which day they’ll show up, so every time you see a new episode of your favorite periodicals in your mailbox will be like a little surprise present.
- Stock up on chic supplies. A certain amount of our mundane activities are unavoidable, but if you can invest in little ways to spice them up it will bring you joy throughout the day. I spend a lot of my work day attending meetings and taking copious handwritten notes, which is made distinctly more bearable by a smart notebook and my favorite pens.
- Light up. We have candles going every night in our house. Even if we’re just microwaving leftovers, we light these tapers to dress up our table. After dinner, I light one of my favorite scented candles. I swear it calms me down at the end of the day. I’ll probably do a whole post on my favorite candle scents…. but the spoiler is anything from Anthropologie.
- Add some bling. Earlier I said you don’t need to dress for a black tie gala every day, and I meant it! …but a little sparkle never hurts. I can’t even begin to count the number of times someone has told me I look nice when I actually didn’t look nice, I was just wearing a nice necklace. I’ve mentioned it before, but my key strategy here is Rocksbox– I have a constant rotation of jewels, and when one set stops making me fancy I sub it out for another! Use promo code helenbff51 for a free month!
Just because not every day can be wild and crazy doesn’t mean that every day shouldn’t bring you happiness. Find your fanciness, and make it happen!
Adventure is Out There
Posted on September 8th, 2015
I had this fantasy that when Ian and I moved to outdoorsy, lowkey hippie Seattle, we would jump right into the “my body is my temple” mindset. My weekend wardrobe would consist entirely of discounted Zella spandex. I would renounce my cookie-baking, pizza eating ways, and we would wake up at the crack of dawn on the weekends to head for hikes in the hills. I wondered if I would even take up camping to better commune with Mother Gaia.
I was half right. The affinity Seattlites (not to be confused with satellites, incidentally) have for the great outdoors is infectious. Our half marathon training leads to lots of long early-morning runs along the bay, and we really prefer to get an early start on the hiking trails to beat the traffic. On the other hand, we have also discovered the best macaroni and cheese of our lives since moving here, so missing out on that would be criminal. As for the camping… let’s not get carried away here. But hiking we can do!
I’ve always been a fan of hiking because it doesn’t require a lot of fancy, specialized equipment and there is no wrong way to participate. Whether you’re walking 3 miles in a local park or 9 miles on a mountain, you did it! You hiked! Once you get a solid pair of hiking shoes or boots, you’re essentially set. I have these (the only time Merrells are socially acceptable), but if you need more ankle support or are hiking somewhere with particularly treacherous terrain, try something like this. My family and I have hiked in some pretty beautiful places over the years on vacations (Switzerland and Wales are my personal favorites!), but living close enough to go hiking routinely is novel for me.
Throughout the summer, we’ve gone to some beautiful places (my personal favorite pictured above!) but have stayed fairly close to home. With the gift of a long weekend, we decided to be slightly more adventurous on Monday. We scoped out a hike at Mount Rainier about two and a half hours away, and set out.
Ha! When I say it like that, it sounds so easy. We actually woke up at 5:20am to beat the crowds, stopped at Starbucks, and were heavily caffeinated as we began our journey. Our journey began in relative darkness, but as the sun came up, I pointed out to Ian that we should make sure to turn off the headlights. I had a mini panic attack as I envisioned us stuck up a mountain with a dead car battery. Phew.
As we got higher up the mountain, we had more and more fog and less and less cell phone reception. Our predawn alarm was rewarded– the trail was relatively desolate. The only problem with an early hike is the mountain is often shrouded in a fog in the mornings that later burns off, but I kind of enjoyed the mystique that came with being cloaked in the clouds.
The 7+ miles we hiked were a little strenuous. Of course, we are unaccustomed to the altitude– the hike started at about 5500 feet, and gained about 2000 feet on the trail. But the gain was gradual and manageable…
Ian agrees.
We enjoyed the usual feeling of superiority accomplishment as we rounded the final bend and headed back towards the lodge. Congratulating ourselves on a job well done and with visions of a celebratory Chipotle or Chick Fil A lunch dancing in our heads, we climbed into the car.
Where the headlights were on. And the battery was dead. Nailed it. Turns out when we encountered the fog and had (logically) turned the headlights on again, we were a little less careful about turning them back off the second time.
But God bless the National Park Service. Though we were about 100 miles from civilization, we were only a hundred yards from our new best friend Gary, who jumped us and sent us on our way in about 9 minutes. One Chick-Fil-A pitstop and two diet lemonades later, we were back in Seattle.
And totally exhausted.
Back in Action
Posted on September 4th, 2015
Some day in the not-too-distant future, there may come a time where we reflect on football as we know it as a thing of the past. We’ll marvel that millions of us congregated every week to watch grown men smack each other around. Our (great?) grandchildren will think we are barbarians.
That day is not today. Today is the return of football.
I love football, and the combination of violent physical and intense strategic skill. Given that I couldn’t play in high school, I did the next best thing. No, not cheerleading– I was announcer of the football games. I can’t binge watch Netflix, but I have no difficulty watching 24 hours of football in a weekend. The only redeeming reality of the end of summer is the start of football.
Those of you still in college, and particularly in the South, have it particularly good. Besides football, one of my primary passions is wearing pretty dresses. Later, this evolved to drinking in pretty dresses, but at any rate, “Guys in Ties, Girls in Pearls” is the perfect merging of these.
Going to UPenn was absolutely the right life decision for me, but I won’t pretend I didn’t miss those SEC gamedays.
Ivy League tailgating is essentially just a sea of girls in identical Barbour jackets and riding boots and guys in school hoodies. It’s a lot like this.
If you’re #blessed enough to be headed to a dressy Gameday this fall, I’m armed and ready with outfit recommendations. We’ll get you dressed and out the door in 4 easy steps:
Step 1: The dress. This is the quarterback of your outfit– high profile, most visible. Unlike with a quarterback, however, there’s no reason to spend a fortune here. Get a solid color sundress that you can reuse without looking like you’re on the way to the stadium, and you’re set. Keep in mind you may be sweating– a lot– so breathable fabrics and a roomier silhouette are ideal.
Step 2: The statement necklace, the tight end of your outfit. If the tight end is getting a lot of ball touches, guys are slapping his butt in fond recognition every minute, but if the offense doesn’t feature him, no one notices. Nearly every school has two coordinating colors, so you’ll need a statement necklace that features each to get you through the season. It’s okay to spend a little more here because you’ll have it on repeat throughout the year. Unless you’re a Tennessee or Texas fan. Those shades of orange cannot be reworn.
One // Two // Three // Four // Five
Step 3: Footwear. The offensive line– you’ll only think about them if they’re doing a bad job, and they probably don’t get as much credit as they should. Tradition takes you one of two ways here. Jack Rogers that coordinate with your school colors, or cowboy boots. Whatever you do, for heaven’s sake, wear something comfortable and flat. Also something you don’t mind getting beer spilled on. Just saying.
Step 4: The crossbody. Your bag is to your outfit what the secondary is to your defense– guards your stuff, not involved in every play, but there when you need it. If you’re in college and will be, shall we say, tailgating more heavily before (and after) the game, I recommend using your typical fratting crossbody– nylon preferred to handle spills. I used one very similar to this in college, and I like this one, too. If you’re looking for something you can stuff your cardigan into, as well, try this (navy stripes!) or this. You may be glad you have options once the sun goes down.
You look fabulous. Go team.
Procrastination Station- September 2
Posted on September 2nd, 2015
Are you hungry? This appears to be an accidental food edition.
It’s been two and a half whole months of living somewhere with a great kitchen with someone who eats my food… and I’ve managed to keep up a pretty steady stream of cooking!
I highly recommend this Brussel Sprouts Carbonara for a quick weeknight meal. I whipped it up last night, and despite being a Skinnytaste recipe, it was delicious and filling!
…and wash it down with some homemade blender lemonade. Who knew this was a thing? Definitely want to test this out for myself.
I admit to being obsessed with food, as this post is clearly demonstrating. The Atlantic is on to me.
And a little food for your brain, as well… As communication increasingly happens via writing only, the stakes for correctly interpreting tone are heightened. What if your computer could help? Ian told me about one such initiative at Microsoft, and it looks like they are not alone.
Hope you enjoyed this really high-quality post. (See what I did there?)
Cutting Remarks
Posted on August 31st, 2015
There are some people who would say I’m not very spontaneous. And then there are the others, who would say that I’m the least spontaneous person they have ever met. To all those people I say… You’re probably right. But! Over the weekend, I took a little break from my usual personality to do something very out of character.
I got my hair done.
I am aware that this is in fact an activity common to people everywhere, and that there are many people who get more than “just a trim” at their local Supercuts every four months. Yet I had not been among that fancy group in the past. My bank account praised me for it, but my hair did not.
I will freely admit that an aspect of this sudden change comes from my reluctance to give up being blonde. When I was little, my hair wasn’t so much as blonde as devoid of color, though as it does for most of us, had steadily grown darker in the subsequent two decades.
Clearly, I was a child artiste. Suddenly this past year, I realized it wasn’t growing in blonde at all, and that it just kind of hung their like a (well-maintained) drab curtain.
So I set about collecting hair inspiration. I definitely didn’t want anything too drastic in either cut or color. No bangs, and no bleach that you could tell from across the street was a bottle job. One step at a time here! Two favorites emerged:
Kate Middleton, but not the bangs one. I’m aware that she doesn’t make a public appearance without a team of stylists, but I figured I should dream big. If you don’t want to look like Kate… I don’t believe you.
And Sydney Carver of Summer Wind. What I like so much about Sydney’s hair is that it looks great straight, wavy, or curled, up or down.
Love that versatility. And back to the spontaneity thing… I decided to do this on Saturday night and called and made an appointment for Sunday afternoon. I knew I would probably chicken out (read: cheap out) if I didn’t rip it off like a band-aid. Armed with my inspiration photos (thanks HRH Kate and Sydney!), I walked to the salon.
Guys, salons are different from Supercuts. Just so you know.
So after a so-called partial foil, cut, and disbelief from stylist Rae-Ann that I had never done this before…
We had a final product with which I am really happy! Subtle, classic, but much, much more adult. Now if only I could always get my hair to look as good as it does when you first leave the salon…
The Homesick Blues
Posted on August 27th, 2015
Five years ago this month, I left for college. I had a very classic move-in experience– my school was only five hours away from my house, so we stuffed my mom’s minivan full of the “essentials” (I wore my velcro bath wrap about zero times) and headed south. I was so excited about the roommate I had matched with on Facebook, and we had gotten lucky with an incredible room assignment. Conditions were perfect.
(This is our puppy Gracie the day I left for school. She was pretty sure she was coming, too.)
I did have one nagging worry in the back of my mind, though: I was worried about being homesick. I am very close with my family, and I really loved the area where I grew up. Would I miss that while I was away?
Yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.
In fact, as I’ve moved from Nashville to Philadelphia to New York to Seattle, I have been homesick for five years. I miss walks with my mama, and I miss dragging my little brother for ice cream even when he claims he’s full, and I miss running around the golf course in the morning. But I’ve had a whole lot of time to think about this homesickness, and at this point, I’m very much at peace with it. It’s a part of every day, but it by no means runs my life.
If I’m honest with myself, I have to acknowledge the life for which I’m “homesick” doesn’t even really exist anymore. Even if I did live in St. Louis, I would have a job and wouldn’t be lounging at the pool in the summer. I wouldn’t be getting lunch with my same best girlfriends because very few of them even live in St. Louis anymore. And I certainly wouldn’t be having dinner every night with my family because my older brother is at college and my dad works in New York! The professional and social advantages of living elsewhere are a million times worth these essentially nonexistent tradeoffs.
So whether you’re starting college or moving to a new city or just living life, don’t panic about homesickness. A little nostalgia won’t kill you. I even try to embrace it! How lucky am I to have had a childhood and a family that I miss so much? And it’s even more amazing that I have opportunities in my life that currently outweigh that little pang in the pit of my stomach, and make all this missing worth it.
In my heart, I may always have this “Midwest is best” vibe. But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the rest of what life offers in the meantime.
Procrastination Station- August 26
Posted on August 27th, 2015
(Humor me and let’s just pretend I queued this so that it published on time? Thanks)
As I try to lure more of you to come visit me, I would like to share this piece on Caroline Issa’s Seattle visits. She recently launched a collab with Nordstrom, so she’s been in town visiting fairly regularly. She says her favorite part of Seattle is “the food and the view.” Same, girl. Same.
Ali with A Dash of Details has been dishing on her recent wedding this weekend. The pictures are gorgeous, but I really love the way her writing conveys the happiness of her big day. So sweet!
I saw this list of qualities we should outgrow before we get married… but I read the list and really felt like it applies to growing up in general!
I’ll be doing a longer post on my life as kind of a runner in a few weeks, but a colleague shared this hilarious (but insightful) mini graphic novel with me yesterday. I can’t say it resonates with me 100%, but a lot of his sentiments in parts 1-4 (especially the image above!) sounded very familiar.
Short and sweet this week! Enjoy!
I Need Some Space
Posted on August 26th, 2015
Required Disclosure: I am an employee of Nordstrom, but this post is entirely my own. The content is in no way associated with Nordstrom or its affiliates.
I am constantly fascinated by corporate and entrepreneurial innovation. My biggest girl crushes are on young female entrepreneurs who risk everything to pursue a dream and are fueled by coffee and their passion. This mindset directly opposes what most people associate with large, established department stores, but is also increasingly valued by consumers who like personalized goods and services and a unique experience. Nordstrom recognizes this, and most notably began to take steps to close this gap by carrying brands like Topshop and Madewell while also offering limited time pop-in shops, partnering with Warby Parker, Converse, Liberty of London, and others.
But of course, Nordstrom’s Director of Creative Products, Olivia Kim, is unwilling to stop there. Last week, Nordstrom unveiled their Space initiative, which highlights up-and-coming designers online and in small boutiques in select cities. (Read more about this here) This flies in the face of the mass consumer experience, and also opens Nordstrom shoppers up to more varied, unique inventory. I love how well this aligns with industry trends, and how innovative this approach is. Olivia Kim is my hero.
Given that the pieces in Space features new designers, some of the collection is a little bit too haute couture for my plebian Midwestern taste. But there are some (incredibly pricey) pieces I would love in my closet this fall.
Fierce cape // Pearl earrings // Fancy socks // Black bag // Sapphire and Emerald Ring // Pearl Brooch (would look fabulous on a chain, too!) // Tweed top // Scalloped/Jeweled sweater // Metallic Shift // Classic pump // Pleated applique tee // Perfect blue parka
You can shop the whole Space line here— and I highly recommend you do! If for no other reason than your horizons will be expanded, and you might start thinking about a life in which you didn’t dress like a suburban soccer mom at age 24. Maybe that’s just me, though…
Not the Consolation Prize
Posted on August 24th, 2015
On a cross-country flight last week, I decided to rewatch an old favorite. My dad will openly admit to being a huge fan of romantic comedies, particularly of the Nora Ephron variety, so watching them is majorly sentimental for me. Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail are constantly on television, and I’m pretty sure we didn’t miss a single showing. The Billy Crystal/Meg Ryan combination got less airtime than the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan counterparts, but I think When Harry Met Sally is my most beloved of the bunch. (But don’t get me wrong– I’ll watch Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail any day of the week, too)
I will provide a high-level synopsis for those unfamiliar, and while it will give some spoilers, it’s the kind of movie where you can guess the whole plot three minutes in. Sally and Harry first meet when they roadtrip from University of Chicago to New York City after graduation. They quarrel for much of the eighteen hour drive, which is unsurprising given Sally is uptight but cheerful and Harry is a little pessimistic when it comes to interpersonal relationships and human dynamics. They run into one another several years later, each happily paired with significant others, and still don’t get along particularly well. Fast forward a little bit more and we’re ten years beyond their initial roadtrip meeting, but at this moment in their lives, they become fast friends. And then, naturally, comes love.
There several themes here that I love to see getting some attention, the first of which is the transition of a friendship into a beautiful romance. There is absolutely something to be said for becoming involved with someone with whom you already have shared experiences, and whose behaviors and opinions you have gotten to know ahead of time to a degree. I admit to being biased in this regard. On the one hand, I hate the unknown, so I love the idea of having some baseline information on hand right out of the gate. On the other hand, I have had two serious relationships in my life, and in the first we were friends for ten years before we started dating, and in the second it took six years. Assuredly worth the wait!
I would like to preface discussion of the second theme with an unromantic confession: I don’t really believe in soulmates, or this idea that there is only one person who is our perfect match in this world. In When Harry Met Sally, our “lovers” interact with one another several times before they even like each other as people, let alone fall in love. Nora Ephron doesn’t try to write this off with some major character development, and no one gets a personality transplant– it’s just about the series of distinct events at a specific moment in time that happen to lead to the successful chemistry. It’s an exciting truth, and a reminder of the benefits of keeping an open mind.
The transition from platonic friend to significant other is certainly fraught, but when the conditions are right, it is certainly rewarding. When it comes to love…
I’ll have what she’s having.
